Lightbulb Jokes

modified for SDA’s from
http://www.beliefnet.com/

HOW MANY CONFERENCE OFFICIALS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHTBULB?
A: Three. One to change the lightbulb, one not to change the lightbulb, and one to neither change nor not change the lightbulb.

HOW MANY TRADITIONAL ADVENTISTS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHTBULB?
A: Eight. One to call the electrician, and seven to say how much they liked the old one better.

HOW MANY PROGRESSIVE ADVENTISTS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHTBULB?
A: The Progressives wish to issue the following statement:
"We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a lightbulb; however, if in your own journey you have found that lightbulbs work for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your personal relationship with your lightbulb, and present it next month at our annual lightbulb Sabbath service, in which we will explore a number of lightbulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence."

HOW MANY MEMBERS OF THE ADVENTIST THEOLOGICAL SOCIETY DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHTBULB?
A: Ten. One to change the bulb and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.